Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. Jan 29th, 2007 will be my 10-year point in recuperation, yet will always remember where I have originated from with betting dependence.
Gambling dependence took just about all things from me such as family, friends, status, work, my house, car, nearly my marriage and cost me more than cash; it virtually cost me my life twice from self-destruction. On the other hand, I was also having unidentified mental & emotional health problems and disorders I never knew about until 2002.
I originated from the profundities of hellfire, sadness, and gloom.
I opened my eyes in a room at the hospital, I could feel my wrist wrapped up in bandages, I heard people talking about knives, but I lost conscious again. The only thing I can recall was everything turning blank. At present I understand it was a total mind and body collapse. A psychological or emotional loss of consciousness. From there I visited a dependency/mental problem centre.
I was observed for self-murder for the first few days. Not long after, a therapist began working with me. What's more, obviously, I was additionally a habitual card shark as well. Hence, I commenced functioning with a dependence advocate also.
I tried quitting gambling without external help, but it was futile instead I had delved more into it; worse still, I even gambled when in rehab. But it seemed like I could still go on with my life.
Indeed, even following a 20 day remain in an emergency focus and suicide endeavour!
My situation was a clear case of an Addiction. It is an ailment that is really difficult to get over. But possible. And this wasn't the final moment I would work this circuit.
Not because the compulsive gambling, I committed suicide again in 2006 for being unable to cope with the pressure of financial issues. It felt like I haven't completely recover my life including my financial condition.
First lesson? A well-balanced recovery plan. But in 2006 I as well just required to be normal, live life in recuperation without having to take medications for psychological/emotional problems. I tried to survive without the pills and treatment sessions, I thought my sickness was caused by my gambling addiction that leads to PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. All in all, inside two weeks of no meds? I had returned to serious misery and self-destructive. The way I handled it by taking the pills at once dragged me back to the dark side of emptiness again.
Back in the healing centre once more, an additional 16-day emergency focus stay and days of suicide watch.
When they sent me home that time, I had the lessons that I need to be discipline in taking my meds so my mental illness will not bother me again and it stays under control, they called my situation as "dual diagnosis".
Challenges within the recovery process, with a little bit of belief, can enhance our horizon. If we are not digesting them, we won't see our development. Even when you are not partaking in your preferred dependence, we can still have issues come up and life challenges in recovery, so being ready is very important.
First, the characters and traits that we study and lift up within any dependence and "the cycle" of any dependence requires to be disrupted and removed for us to have an opportunity at an actual honest recuperation. Balance is very important in your recovery pathway also. Taking in the aptitudes and instruments in treatment and treatment to break the cycle of enslavement and clear a way to dissipate control, foreswearing, reasons, and that's just the beginning.
The next step is understanding that the remedial process is a long term procedure. It is as crucial to accept as the first step.
Next, is having a setup which halts the regression of the whole remedial process and it is essential for any individual who desires a permanent positive outcome. It is a sure thing that life moments are still being made. Indeed, even upbeat or positive occasions, not simply negative or terrible ones.
I think it is why Gamblers Anonymous requests the query in our combo book of "The 20 Questions" to view if you have a challenge with gambling. It is the reason they posture #19.) "Did you ever have a desire to commend any favourable luck by a couple of hours of betting?" It is an absolute YES! For me. When I got good fortunes, my first thought was to celebrate and have fun by gambling. However, my dependence was very serious I required anything I could pick up to recover, not only Gamblers Anonymous.
I shared this gambling dependence with people that has common addicts to get support and to convince myself that this sickness is subtly dangerous and scheming. What's more, GA showed me that it is so imperative to be there for others through recuperation benefit as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
People need to start opening their minds and be reminded about this subtle addiction. We need to disassemble the myths that have been growing in our society about this sickness and open the eyes of the sufferer of dual diagnose. Yes, mental/enthusiastic sickness in recuperation can be a testing undertaking, however I trust by sharing some of my encounters, quality, and trust, and sharing some of my stories can be a case that recuperation is conceivable, and we can lead cheerful, sound, and beneficial lives in recuperation!